Archivo de septiembre de 2010

For more than 14 years since that February 1996, when Barlow wrote the document distributed worldwide under the title “Declaration of Independence of Cyberspace.” More than an act of rebellion, was the reflection of hundreds of thousands of people who would have loved to say the same of having a small part of their self-confidence.

The story is pretty much summed up well in the declaration: lords of the world’s governments, officer of the status quo, we the users of cyberspace are building a space, a new world where you do not fit with their customary laws. Cyberspace consists of transactions, relationships, and thought itself, which stretches like a standing wave in the web of our communications. Our world is at once everywhere and nowhere, but not where bodies live. We will spread ourselves across the Planet so that no one can arrest our thoughts. So do not even try!

That’s all. Not that we had tried as much as that of cultural shtick to the burriquita course, included the national anthem.

Fourteen years later those words still apply more than one of us has caused him to die even for a while to not have to keep listening in the XXI century words like censorship, network control, digital government, blocking websites, digital advertising, etc.

Chile recently passed a law of net neutrality, Spain is seeking signatures to do likewise. Internet users want freedom. Is the human being will never calm to enjoy without fear of their natural right to be free?

In this thought in bed when an idea struck me unusual, fed with many online headlines, read around in these last days.

What if one day, but we’ll give you that right democratically, a human being on this planet, with enough power, tyrannical abrogates all have universal powers and declares one morning, looking orangutan:

- This is a coup for the network.

- A network. Cal “network? “I asked shocked, looking bag.

- In Internet, dammit! “Says the tyrant, in pefect sync, as if I had heard.

“From this moment,” he continued, “everyone in line, straight, and oh! the one that derailed me …

“Take note. Damn fast! Yells the tyrant, and immediately gives its first 7 laws.

1. Since Internet is now my property. Everything here is mine: content, ISPs, domains, URLs, the material of web sites, personal blogs and corporate security protocols, passwords, hardware environment, software, control over the nodes, todito all around.

2. No more new social networks. Look in heaven and earth to those such Zuckerberg and Dorsey and put me in jail for the go around making these pods and socializing … no boy network, brutalizing people all day glued to the screen of a PC or mobile , seeing the back of a blue bird blessed.

3. Only 500 fans. During the transition to unplug all, let user only five hundred followers on Twitter and Facebook friends quientos. So escojánlos, and hurry up because from tomorrow only take into account the number of preferred partners and the rest or delete them yourself or I will delete them in one fell swoop. I would like to see them suffer a little hole by having to choose among so many followers which sends to hell with one clicketazo. What pod so good!, Jijijijijijijijiji.

4. Let males, dammit. In this transition, the network declared banished the use of words like freedom, love, happiness, rights, solidarity, equality, democracy. What shell is that!. So many words sweeteners diabetes enervate me, so get used to write without them, use other words more suited to this new time and are male fuck, that seem all a jevas.

5. Zero human rights. If anyone derailed me and leaves me no choice but to convince clubs to end amicably, it seeks to invoke the Universal Declaration of Human Rights because I totally unrelated. But hey, you guys are idiots, how they will go around the world by invoking laws offline in the network world. No sir. Everything is online, virtual, onnipresente except peinillazos that remain as vivid as the electricity bill.

6. Saturation of rebellion. And take note: if, despite the reduction of followers and friends, they plot a rebellion in the network, I swear I will saturate the system and navigation lock. On Twitter, for example, the system message is not “Twitter is over capacity” and the image of the whale being rescued by the blue birds. No sir. All will receive a message that they have run out of bread beak and a warning that if they return them back at a stroke and for all the world 1.0, for the rest of his days.

7. I, the supreme. Finally, it is mandatory to follow all and only today I will order from an online account with unlimited profile to be followed by all toditos all this way and receive greetings and congratulations on the anniversary of my baptism, first communion, confirmation, birthday, marriage, during one-liners, childbirth, and finally any circumstance which in the opinion of mine and not yours, required to be enhanced for the benefit of the people of Internet users.

- Riiiiiiiiing!

I jumped up and grabbed the phone, sweating and breathless.

- Rafael? “I hear on the line.

Yes

- What to do, it’s Mario. I’m waiting outside to go to the bookstore.

- Damn dude, thanks !!!!!!

- Why? …. You like you’re smoking?

“For to wake up from this nightmare!

I hang up the phone and I get dressed for the race, happy.

An avatar is a graphical representation that identifies us, showing us the other, which overlooks a shameless piece of us.

In the # redessociales usually use a photograph, often the best we have out there because that’s scratched out and stay ugly forever without remedy, is out, is a thing of the past. Now we posed and we cute, so that if reality shows no mercy no mercy with us to the point that the latest digital cameras can not do anything for the mess we are, we cry, “now, who will defend us?, And then You will hear a yoooo! fotoshop resounding, like the cry that the Chapulin Colorado hilarious.

Anyway, today we are all destined to beauty, to be eternal candidate to contest Gerber adults.

That is the reason that people in social networks, especially on twitter and facebook, we show the best of us and not for anything we put in evidence any personal details you can get away from that image that we display. It seems that all yell in unison will know us by our avatar!

In all this I think as I try to sleep. Just out of reach of the party organized by several different people at the club in order BITS conococernos all personally, to share, let us flesh and blood, to be more than good friends binary social networks.

Here we present ourselves, we shook hands, embraced and sometimes there were cases in which almost gives the impression sheath. Input harmony reigned, but especially curious about the other:! Which side, what hair, how you talk, how smug, how beautiful, how ugly, how intelligent, how gross … what a surprise!

Surprise, yes. There was everything:

1. Nobody was his avatar. We were all different, with some years more than the holy picture, a few inches less, skin a little lighter or darker which. The hair looked too long neglected in some cases and not to mention what abultadito of the bellies of some of us and the rolls visible in the waist of the ladies. Men and women short and long tongue ideas abound. Nor was it like to die, because, though minority, could also be seen occasionally characters most intelligent, educated and in beauty of the reality than the avatar: Some women or men seemed actors parading down the red carpet under spotlights the sharp envy.

2. Few were as charming as their tweets. We all ran to first in search of followers and followed our favorites as he pursues a career in a concert of U2 Bono’s autograph. The thing was how these usual rounds of business but in this case # # facebookfans twitterfans or whose only interest was to enjoy live the genius of friends online. Error. Few were relaxed enough to repeat face to face the best of his talent were all definitely twitterer or a string of online frauds.

That would be the only thing that’s great that everyone could enjoy was when it was announced by the internal sound at the end of the event would have a raffle and the winner will be awarded only ensure a valuable followback the highest of the Latino guru twitter.

3. Some heavy and were not so conceited. It was fun to meet personally with people one is a sheath for the mere fact that they contribute greatly to the net, but they are heavier than a necklace Boccia. Surprise!. Or is that social networks take them a false pose hard, or just before coming to the party of avatars took Eliza pint of sympathy. Half a world divided kisses, talked like crazy, smiled, took pictures of the group and showed so nice that I swear that caused his mother to love them.

4. What experts? Was the question that everyone in the room repeated, some even indiscreetly. Well they came together, they went to a special place and there were up security rings robot without contemplation, novice twitter poor, men and women, who approached the girl entranced as that of the Fan Club, lyrics Servando y Florentino. That day was demonstrated once again that knowledge sharing is pure vanity.

5. Many couples were already coming online or at yours. It was certainly the highlight of the night. For the internal announced early on that that night would know online dating for several pairs of facebook, would witness marital commitments between twitter, public kisses surprise announcements of 10 in Punta Cana nextday marriages, including a politician’s popularity with a businessman from casinos, and even a civil wedding would be between a twitter of San Martin de los Andes with a twitterer of Salamanca.

“How sleep, I asked again, turning in bed.

Everything, absolutely everything had collapsed, ended abruptly. For the inner voice of tragedy and the climax of the party, had been heard this time that all previous announcements were left without effect, including marriage engagements and weddings, including well-known politician, who was be the owner of the premises. Mismito He undertook to drive us all tip cries of despair.

The cause of this tragedy: friends online had been disappointed to see, we had played, had smelled … nothing seemed what it was, everything was different, different, real. The illusion was done online.

Amid the pandemonium, just a couple of oldies twitter that have just met at the event, came out of there very happy in the midst of the cries, holding hands and promising to be happy for the rest of their lives, seeing it was not much.

Maybe tomorrow when I wake up, I told myself this should not have been more than a bad dream and found my dreams remain intact.

Then I turned off the light.

What to do with the frustration of seeing the team that we were in the game today dismissed an unmitigated defeat 4 to 0.

The first feeling is rage, disappointment not to see them in the final elderly, holding, lifting the cup and making the walk of victory in the stands while the fans-including me-they were screaming like crazy everything that we thanked him moment of joy.

I felt like as to mourn but I think it was worth … the game was good, the opposing team were superior, they ran a lot and have a refined technique. I think our chances of success overvalued and never think otherwise speed in its juggernaut and its traditional pasta champion.

Caused begin now to blame the coach, players, referees, anyone … someone had to pay dearly for this defeat.

In all this musing on the steps of the stadium, where a hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality.

It was my son. Still sweating from the effort on the football field where his team had lost the right to advance to the semifinal intercollegiate football.

- Tranquilo papa – my son told me player in 15 years – we have not won, but I swear I never felt so happy as you now know, my father, you have believed that I could win and look what we tried.

I looked at him and nodded. Took his arm and left the stadium, celebrating our victory quietly personal.

Many people with accounts at twitter, facebook or any other social networking sites have started to think seriously about the fate of these, once we return and no longer without direct followers to another world. The concerns are very simple: does not necessarily imply physical death our death online?, Can a person “in an act of last will, to commission a third party to manage their accounts and still so rampant in the network as if nothing had happened ?.

There is a minor issue.

There are at least two possibilities for action in these cases: i) die we die as we around the world and by assumption that every vestige of life we must immediately disappear from the face of the earth, including, of course, our profiles online, and ii) does not give up and instead we drew up guidelines for a living, breathing agent assumes the role of maintaining the accounts, with express instructions not to leave not a shred of our own rules of conduct … a clone online, then.

If the latter were the case, the decision may have some ethical, moral and even legal if it is not clear in advance that the account is no longer being served by the dead, but live by the flesh. If maliciously kept secret the death of the account holder for the purpose of showing that it is he who is twittering, no doubt that instead of one, will be two of the dead. The blessed clone end sooner or later discovered and beaten mercilessly by the legion of fans mocked, who will not endure have been interacting with a stranger, believing that they did with him whom were and lies and two meters underground.

In all this the twitterer pondered and said:

- Do not, no joke!. In my capacity as a lawyer drew up the will right now.

Immediately set to work. Went to the studio and promptly drafted what was been called: The Top 5 terms of the will of twitterer, which were theirs but it certainly can serve any twitterer have in their plans to die someday. ! You never know!

Here they are.

Who subscribes, JRF, adult, in my capacity as twitterer, mentally working to my knowledge, I will say is about the twitter and facebook accounts that at my death they remain active, for which the new administrator strictly follow the 5 rules listed below:

1. Accounts. Understood by those of my accounts on social networking: facebook and twitter. Never the bank account, fly it!. The rule here is very simple and I have learned in more than one tweet read somewhere: to be admitted to the facebook and twitter friends are still those who hope to be. My principles are simple: do not write party policy, be helpful to others, do not answer anyone’s sins and encourage friends. The password is the same for both accounts: xxxxxxxxxxxxx and it is my will that the people administering the bookseller. Why him. Well, it’s a gesture of gratitude for the many books that I got carried away and no return jointly of the public library, getting the msg.

2. The content of the tweet. By following the principles of clause one, everything will be fine. For the love of God, never to post about the festival hat the Queen, Tiger Wood’s divorce, or the ninth marriage of Elizabeth Taylor. Let these poor people alone that are already heavily. Technology, IP and literature are my favorite subjects to talk about them often keep the profile. But, careful, not everything that is published literature, although it has ever sold in the bookshop Marks & Co., of 84, Charing Cross Road.

3. From my followers. They have to pamper them, serve them, greet them, answer daily RTs and give them # FF. Message boards must not generate sterile discussions, and irreverent show a twitter profile that makes them run away and give to the account unfollow number without mercy. Be humble. Do not forget a single minute of Umberto Eco’s statement: “Nothing will stop the vanity.”

4. Who follow. Follow those who follow him, but never offered to sellers who earn $ 5,000 for travel tweets or Champs Elysees in the carriage of Cinderella, at twelve o’clock. Of these people stand back and look for more people sympathetic to their interests not Farandulera …. Ricky Martin already said that in his own right had to say and Angelina is not anorexic. Do not get sick from lack of attention of the gurus of twitter, and if after thirty years of following them, finally get them a DM, a mention or a follow, for heaven’s sake, do not start to shout as @ loc, take more of a warm cup of tea Siberian and count to one hundred before you start giving a pod.

5. Twitterer Manas. Finally, do not forget it for the world: Tweet preferably in the morning and at night, rarely from work and never when you are on your honeymoon. The morning and evening traffic are more tweets, working hours, unless you pay for twitter, are of the firm, and the honeymoon instead of twitter do otherwise is often even more fun, unless the marriage is not really a honey.

A year later. In the sky.

-San Pedro!

“If my son

“I need to return to earth even for a moment.

“For what, son?

- To send pans of hell bastard who manages the bookstore now my # redessociales accounts, for committing the heinous crime of damnatio memoriae.

“And what is that?

“I wiped out and threw me into oblivion postmortem.

-How?

- Changed my avatar and put in place a picture of pink floyd in concert Rockparadise London, was given the grim task of half a world message boards with invitations to a festival ghosts wet cloths and various perversions, stopped to greet friends and never gave anyone a # FF. Also placed a huge and colorful “Like” in the pages of Playboy, videos and old rose nude photos of Pamela Anderson and offered no shame ladies desperate to marry them multiple marriages on the island of Spanish. In nine months the only tweet bastard who posted the above on “literature” was a reference to the book “how to destroy the reputation of a twitterer and not die trying”

“My son, however I have received here at the Sky News people of your people who realize that the bookseller’s ignoble motives were revenge.

“How so?

“Yes, my son. He would have sworn by the mother that bore him to take revenge on you sooner or later. You poor twitterer distracted, ten years ago you took from the library without realizing it, a pile of used books, autographed copy of the Kamasutra.

Plop!